


The Last Night

by ultrahotpink



Category: Mercy Street (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:11:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9203318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultrahotpink/pseuds/ultrahotpink
Summary: Mary reflects on her time with Jed during their last night together.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lafiametta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafiametta/gifts).



> This story has been a long time coming as I've been writing it since May. It exists in the same universe as Moonlight and Sunlight, but can be read as a stand alone fic. This story is dedicated to lafiametta, my secret Santa, who has been patiently waiting for her gift. I hope you all enjoy it!

Mary’s eyes flew open suddenly. Awakening in the night wasn’t something she typically did, but tonight was different.

It had been three months since the war had been declared over. Three months since Lincoln had been shot, and three months that Mary had known that their time at Mansion House was coming to an end.

At first, there had still been patients to care for that had kept most of them there, and she and Jed had continued as before. Working alongside each other during the day, sharing meals, private jokes, making love in his bed at night. Then a month ago, it had been decreed that the hospital would be closed, and that she along with most of the other staff would be relieved of their duties. And so she had set about finding another place. She had written to several hospitals in Boston and had received a response from Massachusetts General, offering her a position.

When she told Jed about Boston, she could see the hurt in his eyes, the betrayal that she had acted before consulting him. He had knelt before her and asked her, begged her to stay. For them to find a home together near the hospital he was being transferred to in Washington. He didn’t understand why the end of the war changed things between them.  
She couldn’t blame him exactly. They had been together for so long now, it truly felt as though she might really be his wife, but he couldn’t see that it would have changed when they had left Mansion House.

The standards and morality that had existed before the war would slowly be erected again. What felt like a partnership would soon turn into a secret. Where they had been open in their affection, they would be closed again. Society would once again become close knit, and they would look down upon a widowed Baroness who chose to live in sin with a married doctor. Indeed, although he did not care to realize it, it would have hurt his chances to further his career and his work if they had put their happiness over society’s icy gaze.

She had taken his hand and sat on his bed and had tried calmly to reiterate these points to him. She knew immediately by the flash in his eyes and the way that he had held her hands tightly before releasing them that this was no mere disagreement. But it wasn’t until he slammed his fists angrily against his desk and swept his arms across it that she knew the gravity her words had truly had on him. 

“You’re a coward, and a traitor to our love.” He’d yelled at her.

She’d tried put her hand on his arm to calm him, but he’d flung it off.

“Do you not think that I would stay and be your wife if I could?” Mary had bit back. She had closed her eyes and bowed her head, attempting to hold off the tears she felt rising up within herself.

Jed’s anger dropped and before the first sob had taken hold of her, his arms were around her, drawing her to him tightly. “You are more a wife to me than she-“

“I am not. I have been a colleague, a friend, a lover, but not that.”

He had cursed at Eliza for refusing his repeated requests for divorce, but despite his deep hatred for Eliza’s intransigence, he had not forced the matter as he might have if he had filed papers against her for desertion. Jed felt that he had wronged Eliza, and he could not force a divorce without wronging her more.

And so, they had reached an impasse. Jed would not force the issue of his marriage, and Mary would not be his mistress when they left, however much like a wife it would seem.  
Despite his anger and her feelings, they still talked, although never about what was to come. She still came to his room at night, and laid down beside him. He would still touch her in the ways that she loved to be touched, and they would make love, although their coupling now possessed a greater urgency and fervor than before. It was like they were possessed by a spirit that knew it’s time within them was at an end. 

They were less careful now with practical measures, perhaps in some unconscious way to spur the hands of fate and force themselves together in spite of their decisions.  
When a week ago Mary had gotten her courses, she had spent the night crying bitterly in her room that their recklessness had no lasting consequences, and chastising herself for her wish. In the bright morning light she had realized that fate had known better, and that she should be grateful that their foolishness bore no fruit, however much she would have loved to hold that ill-advised child. 

And now this would be their last night together. The last time she would sleep beside him, in this room. The last night they would make love to each other as though it were the first. The last time they might see each other.

She could feel Jed’s eyes on her before she glanced and saw his face reflected in the moonlight.

She blinked hard and moved to lie on her side. Her eyes meeting his. “Do you watch me when I’m sleeping?”

“Often. I find it calms me.” Jed’s voice shook as he spoke. “You looked deep in thought.”

“I was.” She exhaled slowly, trying to compose the emotion in her own voice.

“Will you tell me?” he asked.

“I was thinking about everything that has lead us to this moment.” Her hand reached out for his, taking it. “Have you slept yet?”

She could hear Jed’s sharp breathing beside her. “What is it? Is everything alright?” Her other hand reached forward, and cradled his jaw.

He leaned into her hand as though it were the most natural thing. His eyes shut tightly releasing his heavy tears. “I’m afraid if I go to sleep that I’ll never see you again. That this will be nothing but a dream.”

She moved her body closer to his. “This has not been a dream. I am here before you, a flesh and blood woman who loves you.”

His hand moved to her waist, drawing her closer. “And yet you would leave me.”

She exhaled. She didn’t want to leave him, but how could she explain in a way that he would understand? While she had loved Gustav, she knew that she had loved Jed in an equal but different way. How she had loved their laughter, his passion, loved learning from him. Their conversation, their lovemaking. Why must he be so cruel? 

She closed her eyes. “It is the right decision, not the easy one.”

Jed twisted in her arms. “Morality be damned. This has been the happiest time of my life. I do not know what will happen when you-”

“We will go on, because we must. For your own sake, as well as mine. Whenever you feel as black as you do now, remember that there is a woman in Boston who is thinking of you and praying for you.”

“What good will prayer do me when I cannot feel your arms about me?” His eyes frantically held hers and she felt her calm façade dissolve.

“Because it must be enough!” Mary cried out, her eyes filling with tears now as well. This was not how she wanted to spend their last night, this was not how she wanted to remember them. 

He drew her close and they cried together for several moments before Jed spoke again.

“I am sorry I brought it up. Please, let’s not fight. We have only a few hours left. Can we not find another, happier way to fill them?” Jed pressed his mouth to hers in a light kiss, pulling back, his eyes asking for permission silently.

She kissed him, her mouth opening to his, her hands running through his hair. His hands gently tracing her nipples and running down to the crux of her legs and moving in lazy circles that made her gasp and sigh. His body rolling hers underneath him as she spread her legs eagerly. He moved within her, his hips meeting hers, urging him on. Neither censoring the moans cries that came forth into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Please feel free to review or leave a kudos if you have the time!


End file.
